Chinese Broccoli

[Rochester Amtrak station]
"It's so much cheaper to go to the movies in Ecuador than here. Here it's six dollars but at home it's only four."

[Lake Shore Limited]
"Ladies and gentlemen, someone has found a cell phone in the train and they have brought it to me. If you could please check your purses and pockets and see if you do not have your cell phone, if you took your cell phone with you when you left your house last night, or this morning, or this afternoon, and do not have it anymore, you should come see me in the lounge car and you can describe it to me and if you describe it correctly I will give you this cell phone. To anyone thinking about perpetrating that this is their cell phone when they never had a cell phone to begin with, do not do that."

[Rao's Coffee, Amherst, Mass]
"No, I'm telling you. The guy who played Colombo killed his wife."

[Amherst Coffee]
"You know how the planes are in the East. They're like buses. They're dirty. I don't even know where Islip is. For all I know it's near Canada."

[Outside "Soup-Er Bowl" restaurant, Amherst, Mass]
"See, it's a joke on the name, because it's soup and they serve it to you in bowls."